Deli-rium - The Colour Coordinator

I was making a coffee. I don't remember what kind it was but let's just say it was a tall latte because the odds are high. I was in a coffee dream-world, probably gazing hazily into the rich beige crema trying to find meaning in the white swirls of milk foam. I finished making it, turned round to hand it to a customer and abruptly snapped out of my latte-haze, because there, right before my very eyes, was the most unusual customer the shop has ever seen.*

She was in her sixties. On a mobility scooter (a pretty nifty one at that). And she was wearing a neon pink coat. Which was not so unusual in itself, except for the fact that her short granny hair was exactly the same colour. If not even brighter. It hurt my eyes. I had to look away, although this was also in order to hide my expression of bemusement.

When I looked back again, she was up out of her scooter, looking at the real ale shelf several feet away. I noticed that her socks were the same colour as her hair and coat. And her handbag, for that matter, which was sitting in the basket of her scooter (which, devastatingly, was metallic purple, not pink. You can't have it all).

Pink lady perused the ales for several minutes, decided she didn't actually want to buy any of them and sat back down on her scooter. She then began to reverse out of the shop, dragging a couple of chairs along by mistake as her scooter made indignant beeping noises.

I have never tried so hard not to laugh in my life.

Then she suddenly stopped before she had even reached the door and asked if we had any squashy brie. "We have Waterloo, which is a brie style cheese made in Berkshire," I informed her. Not squashy enough, apparently. Oh well.

So she carried on reversing noisily and beepily and with incredible difficulty (she got stuck on our shop sign) and I could barely breathe and as soon as she was out of earshot I collapsed onto the granite cheese counter, giggling. If only her coordination as a driver matched that of her dress sense.

*(So far).