The First Astronaut

Once upon a time in Ancient China there was a man named Wan Hu.
He wanted to go into outer space.

So, he attached forty-seven rockets to a chair, and, dressed in his finest attire, tied himself atop it.
Then forty-seven attendants lit the rockets with forty-seven torches, and fled for their lives.

There was an almighty explosion, louder than thunder, brighter than lightning.
When the smoke cleared, Wan Hu and the chair had disappeared.
He was nowhere to be seen, and never found.

Now, the legend goes that Wan Hu was killed in the explosion. His body disintegrated in a burst of blinding light.

But what if he didn't? What if, somewhere out there in the vast nothingness of space is a skeleton strapped to a charred wooden chair, dressed in Mandarin finery? Drifting past satellites and asteroid belts, jaw still open as though gasping for air. The first man in space, chalked down in history as a colossal, self-destructive failure.

When in reality, he was a secret pioneer.