Common Garden Tragedy

There once was a snail without a shell. Everyone thought he was a slug. It got rather irritating. He'd say, "I'm NOT a SLUG!" and sometimes slugs in earshot would say, "well, what's wrong with being a slug?" and it would put him in awkward situations. It wasn't that he didn't like slugs, or that he didn't want to be one. It was just that he wasn't one. He was tired of having to explain things. He was tired of people putting him in a sluggy pigeon hole, tired of people questioning, tired of showing bosses medical notes.

So one day he drowned himself in a beer can.

The snails felt guilty and the slugs felt offended.