The Twelve Dinner Guests of Shengxiao

Once upon a time somewhere in China, there was a city called Shengxiao. In that city there lived a very rich and powerful man. He was known by every man, woman and child in the city, but his true name was known by precious few. Instead, the people knew him only by his moniker - the Jade Emperor. Money, they say, corrupts, but the Jade Emperor was a rare gemstone in a filthy sea of greed and fraud and extortion. He was known to be a dignified man, uncorrupted by his boundless wealth, respected for his generosity and graceful, tasteful grandeur. These fine qualities were complimented by his discretion, for people knew very little about his private life and thus he was shrouded in an air of mystery. Though many dreamed of the luxurious lifestyle he must lead, people often wondered who this strange man really was, and who his friends were, if, indeed, he had any at all.

One cold January morning, the Jade Emperor awoke with a strange sense of loneliness, so acute that ritual small talk with his housekeeper could not hope to assuage it. The gossip of the people, it turns out, held some truth: the man they called Emperor did not possess a single friend in the world. Fine tailored suits and exquisite silk shirts may caress my skin, he thought, but they could never replace a friendly hand placed on my shoulder. Russian caviar may fill my belly, washed down by French Champagne, but my heart remains empty. What good, he wondered, is a glass table under which rare Koi swim if I have no friends to join me for supper?

Later that day a special announcement was made on the city radio. Its simple message commanded sudden silence; the ears of ten thousand citizens pricked up.

“The Jade Emperor would like to announce that a banquet is to be held tonight at his private residence. The first twelve people to arrive will be admitted as guests of honour; all others will be turned away.”

Now, as you can imagine, this caused quite a stir in the city. Everybody wanted to meet this mysterious multi-millionaire; everyone yearned to have a taste of such wealth, such grandeur. But the minds of us humans, as you are well aware, work in self-defeating ways. I’d never make it there in time, some said. I don’t know where he lives. I don’t have any clean clothes I could wear. I don’t have any clothes I could wear. I don’t think my table manners are quite up to scratch. I promised my girlfriend I’d take her to dinner. One by one, the citizens quietly counted themselves out, knowing in their heart of hearts that, were they to actually get up and rush to his door, they would surely be turned away.

Of course, there were those who lacked any such modesty, and leapt into their cars hastily to race to this free dinner to beat all free dinners that had ever been eaten in the history of free dinners. This was the chance of a life time. This was not to be missed. And within 15 minutes, every road in the city was rammed tight with vehicles, all furiously spewing exhaust fumes and honking cacophonously. No one was going anywhere.

But the Jade Emperor had invited twelve to his table, and twelve at his table there would be...

To be continued.